saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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