saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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