check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I puked a lego.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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