I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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