rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
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Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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