Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I still have a little drunk in my system
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize