I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize