i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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