I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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