How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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