There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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