Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize