Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA

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  (203): i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA http://tfl.nu/d77g
  Replies (14) Good night (4618) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.

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  (718): You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants. http://tfl.nu/n5jd
  Replies (11) Good night (2045) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.

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  (704): IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT. http://tfl.nu/nkol
  Replies (18) Good night (875) Bad night (4832) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.

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  (651): He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb. http://tfl.nu/9exx
  Replies (215) Good night (923) Bad night (3661)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.

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  (216): There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us. http://tfl.nu/2y42
  Replies (4) Good night (1584) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this

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  (918): I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this http://tfl.nu/kupi
  Replies (6) Good night (1666) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.

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  (614): Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified. http://tfl.nu/iywq
  Replies (12) Good night (940) Bad night (1871) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.

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  (304): I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable. http://tfl.nu/ox4w
  Replies (3) Good night (2191) Bad night (484)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2

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  (336): He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2 http://tfl.nu/rjqf
  Replies (5) Good night (1947) Bad night (433)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.

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  (203): what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/l6g2
  Replies (9) Good night (1186) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?

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  (504): I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game? http://tfl.nu/ymnf
  Replies (7) Good night (980) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.

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  (704): Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own. http://tfl.nu/ehgs
  Replies (4) Good night (2472) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.

  (426): View more from

  So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.

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  (607): Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy. (426): So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee. http://tfl.nu/cx81
  Replies (12) Good night (2975) Bad night (376)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...

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  (608): Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised... http://tfl.nu/yxma
  Replies (1) Good night (973) Bad night (380)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler

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  (615): And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler http://tfl.nu/itqd
  Replies (5) Good night (213) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt

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