Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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