I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
His hands were made for my vagina.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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