I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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