i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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