Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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