I think i peed on brittanys purse
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
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he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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