so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
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She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
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When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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