i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize