i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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