apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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