i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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