we're chasing vodka with high fives
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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