if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize