trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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