Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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