your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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