There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
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To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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