come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
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I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
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You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Mom said you looked used
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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