every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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