My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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