Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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