if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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