I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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