ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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