That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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