He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize