my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize