apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize