it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize