C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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