yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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