whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
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if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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