would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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