She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize