this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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