I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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