Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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